Doll-Housing Crisis Set To Worsen

Doll-Housing Crisis Set To Worsen, Mean Older Brother Says

DAYTON, OH—According to 5-year-old Janie Wright's mean older brother, Dave, 8, if unsuitable borrowers Ken and Barbie continue to default on their high-risk subprime mortgages, it could spell the worst doll-housing crisis to hit the plastic couple since someone threw their dream home's roof out a window.

"[Ken and Barbie] were dumb and ugly so now they're going to lose their home and it's going to wind up in the garbage," said the big jerk, who predicted that since the dolls have not made a single payment, he might just have to cut off all of Barbie's hair to sell it for extra money. "Maybe they can move into a shoe box that they barely fit into. But it won't have any windows so they'll suffocate and die."

The nasty older sibling added that since Ken and Barbie never insured the dollhouse, they would have no recourse in the event of fire, flood, or stomping.

From The Onion, "America's Finest News Source" (fake news, for those of you who are wondering!)

6 comments:

Pubdoll said...

Hilarious! Poor Ken and Barbie!

TreeFeathers said...

You know what's eerie? The Onion posted that back in 2007! Shades of things to come...

Debbie said...

Grace this did give me a chuckle!

Pubdoll said...

The world would be a better place if more people got their news from The Onion instead of the Wall Street Journal.

TreeFeathers said...

I'm with ya' on that!

Caseymini said...

Good story, Grace.
Come get your latest award!!! It's on my blog.

 

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Griffins, traditionally, are Guardians. Often carved at temple doors in ancient times, they were said to guard the way to Wisdom. I, on the other hand, seem to be the Guardian primarily of odd bits of string, pinecones, scraps of paper, mismatched socks, old calendars, homeless imps and gnomes, pencils with no erasers, jokes nobody gets, forgotten gods, keys with no locks, and other people’s lighters. If any of these things might be of use to you, let me know.
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